Unspoken Rules Of San Francisco
Unwritten rules of San Francisco for tourists, locals. How not to look like a tourist in San Francisco. San Francisco etiquette, visiting San Francisco for the first time
Last updated: October 17, 2024
There are many things about San Francisco that most people don’t know, or at least took them a long time to figure out. Check back as this guide will be updated over time.
Is that a gunshot?
No…
https://reddit.com/r/sanfrancisco/comments/1d1jwa5/fireworks_its_always_fireworks/
Boycott Gap, Banana Republic, Athleta, Old Navy…
https://reddit.com/r/bayarea/comments/1fqb8tp/bitter_about_the_as_leaving_boycott_gap/
Unspoken Rules of San Francisco: Dating Frustration
Guys continually blame gender ratios, apps and society for their dating woes but rarely look inward for self-work, therapy, social skills, and getting off dating apps.
Gender ratios are not bad at all especially if you normalize the dating and remove all gay men & lesbian women. It’s just easier for straight men to vent rather than take responsibility for own (in)actions.
Women complain about never being approached in San Francisco or at least not being approached by those they are interested in.
This is party due to introverted personalities of men in SF but also choices women make i.e. choice of friends, where they hang out, being closed off (phone, booths at restaurants/bars), earphones on walks and wanting to date and equal (men are not as picky about height, job, ethnicity etc as women are).
The odds are good but the goods are odd.
Non-monagomy is a thing and is rather trendy; it’s a convenient lifestyle for those wanting part-time partners
You will always be relegated to being a backup in a relationship behind your partners dog.
If you are asked out on 5 dates, there is a strong chance it will be for boba, coffee, Spark Social, mini-golf or the Snug
Guys: invest in social skills, hygiene and hobbies
Women: learn to ID red flags sooner
If you put moderate in your dating profile, you will be considered conservative here
Listin apolitical will reduce your dating pool even further here
Related read: Dating in San Francisco
Unspoken Rules Of San Francisco: Fashion Trends, Dress Code
People here (men and women) dress like they are going on a cross-country or overseas flight.
Women rarely wear heels and men rarely wear anything but sneakers.
Men and women often look like clones of each other: Hoka, Patagonia, Allbirds, company schwag, Rothy’s, Arc'teryx & Costco are what you will find 90% of the time.
Black, grey & navy blue (monochromatic) spectrum dominate closets.
Activewear is not just a clothing style, it’s a lifestyle here.
Never wear flip-flops in the city except the beach and coming from a pedicure
People who have a lot of money dress really poorly
Related read: How to ditch the tech-bro stereotype
Unspoken Rules of San Francisco: Weather
Always bring a jacket, no matter how warm it is during the day.
Weather can change minute by minute, block by block, neighborhood by neighborhood
Avoid the urge to buy knit caps from street vendors unless you like lice
“The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco”
September/October are the best weather months
June-August are the coldest/foggiest months of the year
Be-friend fog.today and weather underground
Related read: Places To Grab A Drink Outside (with info on what side the space is facing for optimal sun conditions)
Unspoken Rules Of San Francisco: Commute/Transit
If a seat is empty, you find out why sooner or later
People are naturally slow walkers and cannot multi-task with phones
Don’t make eye contact with others on buses or on the streets
Stand on the right, walk (faster) on the left
Don’t stand in a parking spot to save it for someone else.
Don’t approach someone saving a spot saving it for someone else
Be mindful of your walking routes as the hills of San Francisco can make you feel like you like in an (M. C. Escher) painting.
Don’t ride bikes/scooters on sidewalks
If you don’t see street signs, look down on the street
Unspoken Rules Of San Francisco: Nakedness
It’s never the people you want to see naked
It’s usually the same 5-10 people you see naked all the time in the Castro, parades, Bay to Breakers, Baker Beach
You will never run as fast as you have when the running pack of naked guys is catching up to you during Bay to Breakers
Unspoken Rules Of San Francisco: How Not To Look Like A Tourist
Don’t call it San Fran
Don’t call it Frisco unless you have been here since the 90’s or bump 90s Bay Area rap
East Cut does not exist nor does Zuckerberg Hospital (it’s General Hospital)
Embrace Fernet shots
Bring a jacket to avoid buying a hoodie of shame in Fisherman’s Wharf
Irish coffees at Buena Vista are fantastic and a must for locals
Unspoken Rules of San Francisco: Parking
You will get a ticket, goal is to reduce how often it happens
Look out for street cleaning, construction work, expired meters, blocking driveways, parking more than 72 hours anywhere and curbing wheels (in the right direction)
Don’t leave anything in your car.
Unspoken Rules Of San Francisco: Culture
San Francisco is a sleepy town, things/people shut down early
Restaurants are hard to find a bite after 10pm unless you are in the know.
Cafes close around 4-5pm but more and more a staying open until 8pm or later.
Nightlife is something to be desired as a lot of popular live music venues have closed (Club Deluxe, Amnesia, Jelly’s, Cafe Cocomo)
People would rather post on Nextdoor, Facebook, IG, Tik-Tok, Blind, Reddit than actually have an adult conversation in person.
People know dog and kids names but never their owners/parents/neighbors’ names.
Things like automated coffee, pizza, robo-taxis, self-pour beer are what excites a lot of tech folks yet they wonder why depression and loneliness is at an all-time high.
Silent book clubs, silent disco events are a thing here.
Most popular ordering apps in San Francisco (in order) are: Grindr, Waymo, Uber, Doordash, Lyft, Lugg
Unspoken Rules Of San Francisco: Misc.
People wait in line for everything. You can guarantee a line if you get 4 of your friends to wait in life anywhere with you.
SF is an expensive city but you can find great deals if you know where to look…
Unspoken Rules Of San Francisco: Work Culture
People will ask where you work before they ask for your name
Some people will not date you if you work for certain tech companies (Meta, Alphabet, Palantir, Tesla, OpenAI, Doordash, Uber/Lyft, Waymo)
It’s not uncommon for people to use Bumble (dating) to find a job
So many make their job their sole identity. Don’t be this person.