Moving To The Bay Area Tips, Things To Consider Living In The Bay Area
Everything you need to know before moving to the Bay Area, things I wish I knew, Bay Area moving guide; advice on moving to the Bay Area, where in the Bay Area to live, Bay Area rat race.
Last updated: November 21, 2024
Pros & Cons of Living In The Bay Area, Is It Worth Moving To The Bay Area?
Before you sign your offer letter or put down a deposit for an apartment, it’s important to know what you are getting yourself into.
Many folks do a bit of research, while many just wing it. As someone who was born and raised in the Bay Area, went to school in LA, lived in NYC for a few years, loves domestic and int’l travels, and has clients all over the world, I have been given access to a lot of views, biases, preferences, deal-breakers, lifestyles and more which has allowed me to offer insight to clients and readers alike.
One of the first things you should do is sign up for my free weekly email newsletters (things to do & news roundup each week and more; usually delivered on Sundays).
Moving To The Bay Area Advice: What To Know Before Moving Here
Geography/Diversity/Bay Area Suburbs
The Bay Area consists of 9 counties and each has its own stereotypes, character etc. Even within counties and cities, there is a lot of variation in terms of cost of living, demographics, politics, weather, and more.
Picking a place requires some serious planning as many people get it wrong the first time and spend a lot of money canceling leases, moving to a different city, or leaving the Bay Area altogether because they don’t know what they are getting into.
The most important things to consider:
Look up commute routes/hours, it can vary from minute to minute
Friends are not as likely to be seen if they live in adjacent neighborhoods (unless you both live near BART/Caltrain/Ferry routes etc)
Traffic times increase during school years
In general, you are better off picking jobs with great locations or minimizing commute so you don’t have to waste your life commuting.
The Bay Area is diverse but it’s more nuanced than you think. Instead of looking up diversity by counties, look at it by city, and then again by neighborhoods. People may find being surrounded by community a strong factor in where they move, especially if they are not very wealthy or lack social skills and existing friends in the area.
Similarly, some people may prefer space, suburbs, easy parking and Targets, Costcos and In-N-Outs with lots of parking. YMMV.
Related read: San Francisco Apt Hunting Guide
Weather/Wind/Winters/Summers
In general, San Francisco is pretty mild, meaning it’s cooler here in the summer. This is largely because the bay creates a vacuum that sucks in cold air from the Pacific Ocean and cools down the city and surrounding beachfront.
Fog is a thing here in SF and the closer you are to the beach, the more fog you will have in your life - every block matters but with that consideration comes price consideration. During the fall, a lot of older homes get warm on occasional days since most don't have A/C (just heating).
Summers get pretty hot during the summer outside of SF; having several days of 100+ degree weather is not unusual.
Spring usually has the strongest winds of the year.
Fall is the most pleasant time for weather in San Francisco but also high risk of fire in wine country and other similar areas.
Don’t overestimate how often you will use the beach unless you are a beach bum and love surfing, beach volleyball, and don’t mind the cold. It gets nice a few days of the year in SF (more so in Marin/Peninsula etc.) but on those days, traffic is brutal unless you get out to said areas before 10AM.
Helpful sites:
WeatherUnderground (use hourly forecasts, zip codes, look at coverage and wind)
Public Transportation/Car/Commute
You don’t need a car in the Bay Area, but it helps if you don’t live near good public transportation or if you want to see more of your friends or if you want to explore areas around you often. It’s expensive and break-ins are an issue but you definitely can get by depending on your commute, lifestyle, interests etc.
There are options to rent vehicles for day/weekend trips to Yosemite, Tahoe, Point Reyes etc but it can be a pain depending on where you live. Similarly, rentals are a big target for thieves, so there is that.
Parking costs can vary anywhere from $200-$400 a month for a shared space or garage space. Some neighborhoods are easier for parking than others, so you will have to assess for yourself based on your schedule etc.
Being walking distance to company shuttles, BART/Caltrain lines are gold (assuming the areas around there are not sketchy).
Bay Area Wardrobe/Fashion
Sense of style is missing in the Bay Area. Sure you can find it more so in some neighborhoods and for some events, but it’s pretty uninspiring and can lead to people dressing down and giving up on fashion.
Athleisure looks and company schwag dominate tech/startup industries and typically remain similar on nights/weekends.
You can surround yourself with people who dress up but it will take time and effort. That said, if you are like this, it’s much easier to date and meet people offline as the competition is so low (assuming you have decent social skills, are not a mess, are pleasant, and are self-aware).
In San Francisco, you almost always need a jacket or layers, and you may only wear shorts a handful of days a year.
Dress for your destination, not your origin.
Read my interview here about fashion in the Bay Area:
https://sfstandard.com/2023/12/20/san-francisco-stylists-tech-fashion/
Should I Move To The Bay Area?
Bay Area Rat Race: Cost of Living/Social Status
Living in the Bay Area is expensive and some areas more so given limited development and urgency to build more. Best bet is to maximize search time for an apartment, get roommates, find an in-law unit etc so you can save up.
Keeping up with the Joneses is a thing here. If you lack the skills to read people, you may struggle quite a bit here. Millionaires are complaining about not owning a home. Those earning $500,000 combined income are complaing that they can only afford condos and flats instead of SFH.
Food is expensive, nannies are expensive, mental health professionals are expensive. Keep this in mind.
A lot of people, especially in tech, often compare themselves to others (jobs, titles, wealth, partners, cars, etc). It’s easy to be rich and miserable here - I know, a lot of my clients fall into these buckets.
Relocating to the Bay Area with Family?
Most families move to the suburbs like Mill Valley, Corte Madera, San Mateo, Palo Alto, Berkeley etc. Some stay in SF but select neighborhoods like Noe Valley, Pac Heights, Laurel Heights, Presidio Heights, Cow Hollow, Cole Valley etc. It really depends on the age of the children, socioeconomic status, schools, etc.
Living in the Bay Area: Apartments/Rent Control
Study up on laws, resources etc.
Some rent control is more permanent than others. Hiring movers is expensive.
Finding units that are dog-friendly are rare and expensive.
Living in the Bay Area: Politics
Bay Area is pretty liberal but within each county, city are more nuanced spread of individuals. Counties like Solano and Napa are more conservative than other counties but still lean liberal. Some towns can feel very conservative like Crocket or more rural areas in back countries so keep that in mind if deciding to move here.
There are lots of bubbles here and it can feel like you are living in a bubble within a bubble.
Is It Hard To Make Friends In The Bay Area?
Some folks here find it hard to make friends. Nearly every week is another Reddit post about people struggling to make friends. It can get lonely here especially if you are they shy type, wfh, don’t have existing friends, have no interesting hobbies etc.
The thing is, most people making these posts fall into one or more buckets:
lack of effort
lack of time
lack of hobbies/interests
lack of social skills
There are lots of third spaces, social clubs, hobbies and lifestyles here that you can meet a range of people but you will have to make and effort, sustain it all while you work on yourself, expand hobbies, improve social skills and make time for others.
Friends are a factor of: proximity, frequency, effort, vibes and shared interests/hobbies.
Moving To The Bay Area - What Is Dating Like For Men, Women?
This is the subject I know most about, and sadly, some people underestimate how hard it is to date here and how things like location can affect not only one’s dating life but social life and, ultimately, mental health.
Related read: Dating In Man Jose
Yes, there is a lot of diversity here, but there is also a lot of separation, a lot of classism, and a lot of people who don’t want to travel far to date or want to date someone well off given the cost of living here.
Of course you can be the exception to the rule (and there are many) but you will have to try harder i.e. be more social, be more charming, make more first moves and have more free time etc.
For women, this may mean making the first move or lowering standards as men don’t discriminate on height, jobs, or ethnicity as much as women do (on average of course).
For men, this can mean going to therapy, making friends, expanding hobbies, working on social skills, not letting your job be your sole identity and understanding that just because you are an in-demand engineer doesn’t mean you are an in-demand dating prospect.
Related read: Where To Meet Singles Bay Area
Where To Meet Founders, VC’s, Entrepreneurs Bay Area
TL;DR: Living In The Bay Area (Should I Move To The Bay Area?)
Most people come here for work, diversity, quality of life, surrounding locations etc. It’s expensive and can be lonely if you are introverted or are too busy for a social life. Many people come and go and that can easily (and often) include social circles.
For those on the fence, test out the waters (house sit, stay with a friend), get a sense of neighborhoods, weather, pace of life. Experience it at its worst and see if it phases you.
It’s easy to be bitter and pessimistic here, but people's perceptions can radically change with small adjustments like moving a few blocks away, making a friend or two, etc.
About Me: Photographer, Dating Coach SF Bay Area
Former analytics geek turned photographer (headshots, branding, lifestyle, personal branding) and dating coach (men, women, engineers, introverts, tech folks and more). Read more about my background here.
Check out my dating services here (offline & online).
Photography services (natural, candid, & authentic headshots & portraits)
Personal image consulting services for men & women here (social skills, wardrobe, lifestyle, hobbies).
Clients include VCs, engineers, therapists, introverts, divorcees/widows, BIPOC, single parents, and folks 22-72+ years old. Based in San Francisco, I work with clients internationally.
As seen in the NYT, WSJ, ABC7, SFGate, Bumble & more.
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