Bay Area Burnout, Silicon Valley Rat Race
Bay Area Rat Race, Silicon Valley Burnout; Stressed Out In San Francisco; Most Stressful Cities In The World; Is San Jose Super Competitive Place To Live?
Note: I am not a therapist. I am not offering medical nor mental advice here.
Burned Out: Why The Bay Area Is A Stressful Area
A lot of folks are burned out all over the country, and world - it’s nothing unique to the Bay Area, but what is different here is the intensity. Add to that, the Bay Area has been under the microscope as it has long been the favorite political target by our current administration.
This isn’t a guide on how on how to cope, nor is it intended to solve your problems. This is meant to shed a light on what people are going through (colleagues, neighbors, etc.)
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Burned Out Living In The San Francisco Bay Area
It’s not just you. Many of you are on edge in the Bay Area, and it’s gotten exponentially worse in the last 5 years.
Thanks to social media and online forums, as well as the normalization of opening up about feelings and mental health, people routinely vent about their lives, express concern about the future and bemoan society with respect to etiquette and behavior.
Things like cost of living, job security, natural disasters (earthquakes, fires), climate, isolation, imposter syndrome, social inequality (homelessness, civil rights), long commutes, fog/cold/wind and dating have dominated peoples’ list of anxieties.
Add to this, things like ICE Raids, all things orange buffoon, firing of critical federal services, elimination of federal funding and uncertainty around the next 14 months and beyond is adding an insane amount of stress that in of itself is quite a bit to take on but on top of everything else, it’s been exhausting and to many, a strong sense of hopelessness lingers in the air.
Even if you are not directly impacted, you certainly have people close to you who are and that will take a toll on you whether you see it or not.
Work Stress & Job Security San Francisco Bay Area
COVID aside, the Bay Area has been a magnet for really ambitious individuals to set up shop, launch a business or re-create themselves.
It’s always been like this, but lately, with the push for AI, the main difference here is that trickle-down effect has not been realized as companies raise insane amounts of money or have the best quarters ever, only to lay off folks left and right.
Similarly, the rate of change is unprecedented. People have adapted to change in the past but the number of people who have either lost their jobs, been unemployed, had to change careers or take pay cuts (and lose benefits) is eye-opening.
In past troubling times (war or recession) etc. the effects were more widely distributed across geographies, demographics. This time around, it’s hitting people differently, and it’s been alarming for many as job safety was always assumed.
Physical & Mental Health Bay Area
San Francisco has been a physically fit city (relative to others), but thanks to COVID, cost of living, and WFH, people are commuting less, leaving their homes less often, are socializing less.
Folks have seen their friend circles decimated in the last 5 years in record numbers as friendships from work have weakened, friends have moved to the burbs or out of state, and people have regressed socially through isolation (and have made fewer new friends).
Add to this, mental health services have taken a toll as many therapists have either eliminated in-person sessions, are taking on fewer clients, have left the area or left the industry. I work with a lot of therapists in the area (mostly through referrals I receive from them) and the cases they see have gotten more dire and intense that it’s starting to take a toll on them.
Cost of Living In The Bay Area
San Francisco has always been an expensive city, but the number of people moving here seeking high-paying jobs has driven up the wage gap, led to a strain on housing markets and made it harder than ever for folks to get by.
Things like inflation and tariffs are certainly not helping, but all these factors hitting at the same time has led to folks commuting further and having less time (and money) to socialize.
Dating Frustration Bay Area & Family Planning
Of all the areas mentioned in this article, this is the area I am the most familiar with, given my line of work. I have helped men and women date more effectively for over a decade.
From CEO’s, founders, awkward software developers, widows, BIPOC, and introverts, I am usually the first person people turn to when they need unbiased help with marketing themselves, improving social skills, learning to filter out time-wasters and figuring out how to meet people offline, organically.
Dating in the Bay Area feels impossible and I will point folks to read this article about that. The area I want to focus on here is on family planning. A lot of people either took a break from dating or took the time to work on themselves during COVID or even now, and for many (especially women), taking a break from dating can add incredible stress as one tries to start a family.
Women don’t have nearly as much flexibility as men do when it comes to timing nor taking breaks. Although extreme examples, we see men pumping out babies well into their 60s and 70s and beyond. Things like maternity leave, IVF planning & costs as well as decline in dating culture typically is more of a burden for women than men.
Dating as a guy is not easy, but they do have advantages that women don’t, and this is partly why they are quick blame women and society rather than take a deep look at themselves and today’s culture.
Technology & Social Media Anxiety, Fears
Ten years ago, it was a bit easier to disconnect from the news and social media, but we are now bombarded with updates, news feeds, and clickbait articles at a pace that we have never seen.
Apps like Citizen induce anxiety through constant crowdsourced crimes taking place around us. Everyone is a journalist as people have video recording devices documenting everything from bad behavior by neighbors, poor dating behavior, and even folks going viral for shenanigans like break-ins, side-shows, accidents and more. These stories tend to get the most attention, thus leading to more content being created and shared.
We now have media outlets using AI writers to create content. It’s going to get even worse as the owners of the NY Post are setting up a California outpost (LA headquarters in 2026) and will likely double down, making the Bay Area and California look even worse.
The elderly are at high risk given higher chances of isolation, cognitive decline free time to idle in the dark corners of the internet i.e. Nextdoor, Tik-Tok, Facebook, Reddit and SF Standard.
Lack Of Social Skills San Francisco Bay Area
The amount of time people spend online is discouraging. A lot of entertainment (movies, tv, music) and social interactions have moved online and has led to people being glued to their laptops and phones more than ever.
It’s gotten so bad that people have forgotten how to interact with each other and don’t know how to meet people offline (IRL). People routinely post questions on Reddit rather than talk to the person next to them, call up businesses directly, or ask neighbors for help.
TL;DR San Francisco Rat Race, Doom Gloom
The Bay Area is a tough place to live. It’s arguably tougher than ever for most of you reading this.
Making friends, making deeper relationships, volunteering, and helping neighbors may not fix your problems, but they can keep you busy (and give you purpose) so you don’t wallow in your apartment alone, glued to your screens and stuck in the infinite loop of bad news, toxic advice, and hopeless outlook on life.
Some folks can go strong for long stretches at a time, but if done for too long or compounded with other life happenings, things can quickly derail.
Eating well, exercising, deleting notifications, doing things IRL vs online and developing a purpose can bridge the gap while you seek professional help. If you live in a foggy area, crossing the bridge or traveling 1 hour toward clearer skies is great for the mind, soul.
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