Using Dating Apps To Find Jobs In The San Francisco Bay Area
Women Using Hinge To Network In Silicon Valley, Men Using Bumble To Find Jobs In The San Francisco Bay Area, Is LinkedIn A Dating App?
Last Updated: August 11, 2026
15+ years ago, I remember reading how someone was trying to gauge interest in a service Salesforce for dating (dating crm tool). It was supposed to managed all matches, collect notes on dates etc. It was pretty absurd but some people thought there was a market for it.
Dating and finding a job have gotten harder since the pandemic and given how these different but similar activities are often compared to each other, it’s no wonder they are on a collision course.
For more dating insights and trends, check out my Modern Dating blog below:
Men Using LinkedIn As A Dating App
Men Are Messaging Women On LinkedIn
There have been countless articles on how some men have used LinkedIn for dating purposes over the years through unwanted direct messaging. Given how much dating apps have scaled back free features, ramped up pricing, introduced annoying and meaningless notifications and features no one asked for, some men have decided to bypass algorithms and message women directly on LinkedIn.
While this is nothing new, people are more aware of the frustrations of both the dating and job markets especially given the rise of AI and what that has yielded.
Thanks to AI, people are now applying to jobs in masses meaning more applicants per job opening. In turn, employers are now using AI to screen applications which has led to more frustration from job-seekers who are having a difficult time bypassing AI filters. Some have resorted to white text hacks, others have used AI to artificially enhance their resumes while others are using AI to mass apply to any and all openings regardless if they are remotely qualified.
This mass inefficiency in the job market has led many to seek out creative alternatives to stand out from the competition: using dating apps to find jobs, network with employees and obtain referrals.
The volume approach on dating apps and now job applications is something we will continue to see in the future - people sending applications for jobs and likes on apps to the masses thinking the more they send, the more success they will have (funnel approach). Unfortunately this strategy rarely works and only makes dating (and job hunting) worse for all.
Men & Women Using Dating Apps To Find Jobs
In the last two years, I have noticed an increase the trend whereby mostly women (but also some men) use popular dating apps, such as Hinge and Bumble, to find employees at companies they wish to apply to and seek out a referral for a job opening. It’s something I am not surprised by in the least but what is surprising is the reaction some guys have about being duped by women (more on that later).
How It Works
Typically, a reasonably attractive woman or man will go on dating apps and target individuals who work at a company they are interested in working for (the most common companies I have seen people being duped at are OpenAI, Anthropic, Meta and Tesla).
They they focus their efforts even further by finding targets that are either smart, have a bad profile, appear lonely, don’t have many options or who many appear rather naive (these are typically younger people new to dating and dating apps specifically). They keep it casual, ask generic questions, and then either try to ask about the persons job while chatting or wait to bring it up on a date.
For men, usually engineers, getting them to talk about themselves and their jobs is easy and so it’s usually not much work for women. You would think that once the ruse was up and a request for a referral was made, these young men would either end the date, deny the request or be so put off that a response was not needed but that is not always the case.
Some Guys Don’t Care
For young men on dating apps, there is quite a bit of despair. For people in their 20s, the gender ratios on apps for men seeking women are pretty bleak (it’s something I wrote about years ago which was featured in a news article by SFGate). Getting any sort of traction is welcomed even if it’s not authentic.
Some guys I talked to mentioned any matches or dates is better than none and in some cases, getting a cash bonus for referral was not the end of the world (even if they didn’t need the money). Case in point, guys who fell victim to this deception didn’t really mind it. They viewed it as a practice date and chalked it up to a learning experience.
More about me and my dating services here. As seen in NYT, Bumble.
These Occurrences May Be More Common In The Future
Given the dire job market, it’s likely these situations will happen even more frequently as job applications are managed by AI and the more people are laid off. Similarly, these deceptive interests on dating apps are often underreported (just like other dating scams).
It doesn’t help that some people don’t care about it either as apps usually don’t make changes unless there is serious pushback from users (often aided by the media’s help).
Furthermore, dating apps are blurring the lines of intention. These days, dating apps are also used (and marketed) for making friends, platonic hangouts, tour guides while traveling and more so it’s no surprise that fewer and fewer people are on apps for dating purposes.
Tinder’s Tagline: Dating, Make Friends & Meet New People
Bumble has a BFF and Bumble Bizz sections for friends and networking
People are quite lonely, especially those new to a city, have had friends relocate, have kids or get married or lost their job (and friends as a result). One of the main reasons I turn down potential clients is that they are unwilling to do the self-work which includes making friends, expanding hobbies, making time for dating and taking care of themselves.
It’s not out of the blue for people, especially men, to put the burden on women they are dating to be their friend, social planner, therapist, cook, cleaner etc. As such, they use dating apps before they are ready to actually date (or at least have healthy expectations about what dating is actually about).
How To Know If Someone Is Interested In You (And Not Your Job)
First off, the easiest way to tell if someone is primarily interested in your job or company is to know if the other person is way out of your league. For some people, especially engineers at big tech companies, this is not always obvious.
Engineers are often treated like rockstars so they are use to being waited on hand and foot (salaries, perks, food, stocks etc). They think professional success is easily translated into dating success but that is rarely the case as dating involves more soft skills and different metrics for assessing market value.
The other red flags to look out for are:
Is the other person unemployed?
Does the person seem way too interested in your job or company more than you?
Do you have absolutely nothing in common?
Does the person live far away or are they using travel mode?
Is the person in a relationship or married? (this one is a bit tricky, especially in the Bay Area given popularity of open relationships; some people may be fine with their partners marketing themselves on dating apps to land a job).
These are only red flags and it’s natural to ask about a job (especially when dating to assess lifestyle, how busy you are, how much time you have to date). Heck one of the most common questions asked on dating apps, singles mixers, networking events and even people you meet randomly everyday in life is: “What Do You Do For Work?”
If the conversations keep shifting back to work despite your efforts to talk about interests, hobbies and non-work stuff then you may have your answer.
Some people’s whole identity is work, sadly, especially in the San Francisco Bay Area. If that is something you encounter, well it’s up to you want you want. Some people seek an equal but in many cases, job/titles are irrelevant. Case in point, read the popular article: Women Need To Date Carpenters Like Men Date Yoga Instructors.
A few people have gone as far to not list their title or company on their dating profiles but that may be for other reasons i.e. make it harder to find them online and report them for bad behavior.
To bring this full circle, there is an old saying in the VC world that comes to mind: ask for money, get advice; ask for advice, get money. I guess when it comes to job-hunting and dating, it will soon be: ask for a date, get a job; ask for a job get a date.
Related Reads
Men Using Dating Apps To Find Jobs, Women Using Dating Sites For Networking; Men Using Hinge To Network, Women Using Bumble To Find Jobs, Men Flirting With Women On LinkedIn, Men Using LinkedIn As A Dating App, Is LinkedIn A Dating App?
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